The calm of code

And the excitement of working on a screen with green characters on black. I can’t explain it anymore than I can explain first love, or the pang of pity I feel for all those who’ll never be able to understand the beauty of deb. I’d surely put it in but then I cannot risk having no os now. Z if you are reading I’m running naked linux (stripped to the bare essentials) now from my flash disk. Need apt so that I can install video4linux. It’s three in the morning but I do enjoy the quiet of my own mind…..

January 30th, 2006 - Posted in Uncategorized | | 1 Comments

the nuptial nub

Placement at a B school and an Indian wedding is more or less the same. The candidates are virginal in their ignorance, much like a bride. They want everything to be perfect on that day. The company much like the groom is in a position to make outrageous demands. The candidates don’t want any company to know that they are flirting around with other companies, while the companies are so much in denial that they expect every candidate to attend only their process. The college authorities much like the bride’s family is impotent, highly uninterested and only interested in washing the bride off their hands.
It’s only much later that the bride realizes that she is going to be brutally fucked, a part of the bargain for being fed all life long, not that it is in anyway assured. And we have the gall to be proud of our Indian B-schools????

January 29th, 2006 - Posted in Uncategorized | | 0 Comments

kadhal kadhal kadhal

a brilliant song….

and so I smile…

January 29th, 2006 - Posted in Uncategorized | | 0 Comments

A personal loss

I lost all my data today. Technology does that to you. It extracts a sacrifice before it lets you tame it. Thankfully only my pictures got deleted. Let me list out the stuff that went out:

1. My sketches (around 0.5 gb)
2. Pictures/Wallpapers/rendered images (around 2 Gb)
3. Personal snapshots of me, friends (around 4 Gb)
4. Stuff that I had written down (round about 2 Gb of text, short stories, articles ) all of them….
5. Poems, lots of poems…

It’s a stinging feeling of loss. Ununderstandable to anyone else. But something which means that I have cut off ties to a land, a time of long before. Au revoir my childhood. I am ready to move on….

January 29th, 2006 - Posted in Uncategorized | | 2 Comments

I laugh so that I don’t cry….

Class. Sometime between 10.15 and 10.45.

While I am pleasantly sitting with my nose two inches from the bench before me, and my eyes tightly shut, the proffesor drones behind me…

All of a sudden, I hear a spark of passion, a ghost that left this place quite some time ago, only to return, to startle both the student and the proffesor with the strength of the violence he can kindle in you.

The proffesor says, “None of you can ever become CEO’s, other than a very few. Most people in this college cannot take a risk at all. You are all forty year old retirees at the age of twenty-three. And most of you don’t have any guts…”

I thump the desk in appreciation.

I thump alone.

Thump! Thump! Thump!

It is the only sound being made in class.

While most of the class is sitting shocked at the vehemence in his voice, the truth of what he said and the apparent insult to their egos, I have yet again failed to notice all this and am busy thumping the desk all alone in the class of sixty.

Sleep and stupidity have conspired once again to make me a rebel…

After class, favourite tea shop. My morning dose of tea. Mak with his `honto ciggarantes`. Me with my tea and butter biscuit.

A comes up to me. He’s with his friends. Animatedly discussing class. He comes up to me. Heaven knows not why!!!

A goes, “Dude! You know I completely agree with him. Man I am going to be a CEO man. It makes no sense being a manager. At least after three four years”.

I stand there politely nodding and drinking tea, wishing hard that he would go away.

Then he hits me with a stunner.

“Dude tell me how did you have the guts to thump the desk like that. I really wanted to but I was afraid of what others may think of me. That was a big risk you took man”.

I was late to class again. Laughed so hard couldn’t find my way to the classroom.

January 22nd, 2006 - Posted in Uncategorized | | 2 Comments